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(Originally posted as a reply on Miyagawa's blog post on _why's disappearance.)
miss collaborating with _why, too, and it was sad to see that one of
_why's parting (re)tweet was:
"programming is rather thankless. u see
your works become replaced by superior ones in a year. unable to run at
all in a few more."
I had such an emotional breakdown in Brazil, when chromatic rather
insistently pressed me on use.perl about why I have not released Perl 6
already, but instead taking up precious mind-share from the Parrot
He made it all sounds like it's my fault that Perl 6 was delayed,
with my well-intentioned but ill-fated attempt at trying to implement
He had apologized swiftly the next day on IRC -- I was paralyzed and
cannot log in, but I read the logs from #perl6, but it hurt a lot, and
burnt for a very long time.
Back then all I could think about is, well then, let my identity be
cancelled; code never lasts more than a decade anyway, and I can
transfer my hard disk -- and my memory -- to Flavio, and disappear from
this particular belief circle entirely.
It's been years ago, and I've reconcilled with chromatic when I was
extremely ill with Hepatitis. He didn't really mean it that harshly; he
was just anxious. Also, the same words just don't mean the same
meanings to each of us.
Then I found some other fixation point, and simply disappeared; I'm
glad, though, that I did not leave a self-destructive note like David
did with Darcs; though I'm sure David didn't really mean it that way,
Well, such is The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.
Now I'm (gradually) back to hacking, and tweeting, and githubbing; I
can't really say "what didn't kill me made me stronger", but when one
resurfaces, one brings newly dived/drived/derived wisdom from other
worlds -- underworlds -- as well.
So I hope that _why resurface some day, not neccessarily in
programming, but in life. Soul-shards like the emails you quoted also
kept him alive in each of _why's collaborators, and that -- a
tradition of human memories -- may last longer than code, if not as
precise as code.
August 23, 2009 at 11:11 PM in People | Permalink
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